BOFCA REVIEW ROUNDUP: 3/29

G.I. JOE: RETALIATIONGI Joe

“110 minutes worth of mindless gun porn, aimed squarely at the lowest common denominator. Trust me: this isn’t coming from some misplaced sense of knee-jerk liberal reaction. It’s coming from a viewer who is tired of having his intelligence insulted.” – Jake Mulligan, EDGE Boston

“The problem might be that the movie just isn’t silly enough, given its preposterous plot and roster of goofy-named characters. Cheap and flimsy, it looks and feels like a more CGI-heavy version of something Cannon Films or Golan & Globus might have made in the mid-eighties.” – Bob Chipman, The Escapist

“The nostalgia instead comes from the cheap 3D effects that feel like you’re looking through the lens of a Fisher Price ViewMaster.” – John Black, Boston Event Guide

 

StarbuckSTARBUCK

“The film steers clear of farce, opting instead for optimism. The result is a heartwarming little charmer that is best enjoyed with your story logic chip powered down and your hand firmly planted in that of your sweetheart’s.” – Kilian Melloy, EDGE Boston

“While STARBUCK has its share of lowbrow humor, the film is more about what makes a family after a child is born than the biological batter mixing that creates it in the first place.” – John Black, Boston Event Guide

“Well, hipster cynics, you can go one of two ways. Avoid the movie altogether, or give in to its bear-hug of an attitude that says yeah, really wonderful things can happen in a distrustful world.” – Norm Schrager, Meet In The Lobby


The HostTHE HOST

“An impressively novel, creative reworking of the alien invasion template filtered through Meyer’s by-now familiar fixations and rendered unintentionally hilarious by her unwieldy ‘Is she kidding?’ storytelling.” – Bob Chipman, The Escapist

“The vacuous Young Adult claptrap that made Meyer made millions in her TWILIGHT books eats away at your brain as the movie crawls to its ridiculous conclusion.” – John Black, Boston Event Guide 

“In the hands of GATTACA director Andrew Niccol, the result is occasionally challenging, dealing with both the science fiction elements and the teen angst at the heart of the story.” – Daniel M. Kimmel, North Shore Movies

 

The SapphiresTHE SAPPHIRES

“O’Dowd dominates; his co-stars’ quiet talents be damned. He mugs for the camera as if this were a talk show. If there’s been a more nakedly ingratiating performance in recent months, I haven’t seen it.” – Jake Mulligan, EDGE Boston

 

RealityREALITY

“It’s too straight-faced to be comedy, too divorced from reality to be a drama, too dry to be satire, too creepy and off-putting to function as general entertainment, and too well-crafted for me to write off as a mess.” – Jake Mulligan, EDGE Boston